Birthday... ...

So I turned twenty-two today! Hooray! Its crazy. My friends are so cute I had a great day with them. Two days ago they actually surprised me with a cake, yesterday we all went out for dinner and had a great time. Tonight we are all hanging out, watching a movie, and drinking
Sangria! I am excited.

I feel so old but so young at the same time. I am dreading thirty but also wanting it to come because I know with age brings stability. I want stability so bad. I am longing to get to the point in life were things seem to make sense again, where there is a sense of purpose and life. When you are living life for someone, not just for yourself.

Today in counselling we talked about how tomorrow would look if it was "perfect". What would be a great day, what would be a "dream day". I was so surprised at what I said. I imagined waking up and going to the art museum. Walking hand in hand with my boyfriend as we strolled through the city, curling up in his arms because of the cold breeze. Then we come home meet with some other friends (who love him). Then we curl up in a hot tub (making ourselves quite cozy). Only to cuddle until we both fall asleep. Thats all I want. How is those so much to ask, shouldn't this be simple. I am beginning to realize how complicated this actually is. What once was simple is no longer.