Boys...

I hate them and love them at the same time. They toy with our minds and make us crazy. When you think you have the right one, you are actually friends with the right one and you are only blinded by the one that you actually think to be the one. They suck. They can mess up a perfectly good friendship, get in the way of a great move whether it be financially, educationally, or something else entirely.

They screw with your mind. One day all they want is to be your friend, letting go of all romantic interest and the next they don't want to be just friends and your given an ultimatum. They want you until they cant have you anymore. They feed you with words of comfort and concern and then they trample on you. They never know exactly what they want until its gone.

I wish that I didn't like them. That I could just stop being attracted to them (especially the ones that have already proven to be jerks). I want to hate them SO much but I cant. I can separate myself from them. I can decide to not take it anymore, delete all the pictures, trash all of the mementos, and through away all of stuff thats attached to them but the memories still remain.

I hate it. It's sad that I feel so done with boys but at the same time all I want is another boy. Maybe its just the bitterness or the frustration thats making me feel this way but all I want is a guy to hold. I don't really want just any boy. I want one who I can really trust, one who I will want to walk with, and spend time with. One who will make me feel special and one who I can care for. I am done with boys now. I want a man, a solid man who wants to be wanted. A steady man who longs to be longed for, who loves to be loved!

I am not someone to be taken for granted. I am not someone's sure thing. I am a strong woman. I deserve someone who will take a stand for me. Who won't shy away when things get tough but will stand firm and fight. I deserve a man not some pesky little boy!