I am finally finished!!! I am done and its the weirdest feeling. After four years and over thirty courses I am finished all of my school work and going to be one to the next chapter! This past week has probably been one of the most up and down weeks of my life. I feel so mentally unstable. I have been dealing with doubts about what I want to do with my life, what I should want out of my relationships and how that all is possible.
I have been a gong-show!!! My roomates and I actually made a sign for our door that says "Warning, Possible Gong Show, Enter at your own risk".
I love my roomates. I never thought that I would connect with them this well. Nicole Kroeker is one of my roomates she is getting married in Decemeber. It has been really cool to see her relationship with her fiance grow over these last eight months. She inspires me because almost everyday she wakes up with pain and in spite of that she is able to make it through. We dont necessarily see eye to eye on everything but I know that she respects my opinion and in turn I respect hers. She is amazing. My other roomate is Amber Hodgekiss. She is a beautiful person. I have connected with her more than I have with Nicole but mostly thats just because we are a similar space. We can feed of one another. I would not consider myself to be a crazy person but when we are together we can have a lot of fun together. She pushes me outside my comfort zone and blesses me with the way she communicates. I feel like she really hears me when I talk to her and her attitude and opinions are always helpful. She doesnt just speak to say something but communicates carefully. I LOVE THEM BOTH!
My neighbours and community this year is phenomenal! THe boys next door have become my brothers. They are all such great guys. This week I had a little bit of tension between Dave and myself. There were some things that we needed to talk about and I was scared to bring them up. I love our relationship and when things come up in a friendship there is always the risk of them harming that relationship. But once again we worked them out. I feel like our relationship is a deep blessing. I have never had a friend that I could communicate with as well. His friendship blesses my life and I dont know what I would do without him. I would have been lost this year had I not had his listening ear and kind heart.
OTher than the sadness of leaving these relationships I have been struggling with the question of "what now?" I am so mixed up and all over the place that May seems like its in a different time continum or something. And as much as I am excited for the change I am also terrified of what comes next. At church on Sunday we had this women share her story and it just crushed me. I love FreshWind for just that reason! I am scared for the ups and downs in life but like her I know that wherever I go and whatever I do I have God by my side!!!
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I love you too Traci! you're super amazing as well, and such a great heart. I appreciate all you have done to "put up with me!" through the hard times of these last eight months. You have such a gift to feel others pain and I think thats remarkable. I hope that we continue to grow to be closer friends even with the distance and without our rooms just down the hall. Know that having you as a roommate has been one of the BIGGEST blessings of this year. And yes, even though we don't see eye to eye, it doesn't mean we can't respect each others choices, I know you're heart is purely loving and thats MOST important! **hugz** and I will see you for sure in December and I will try my super best to make it out to see you sometime soon in Victoria!
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